Cover of Anne-Marie Oomen, Aimee Nezhukumatathil: As Long as I Know You

Anne-Marie Oomen, Aimee Nezhukumatathil As Long as I Know You

The Mom Book

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University of Georgia Press

2022

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277

978-0-8203-6255-7

0-8203-6255-7

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Writer Pam Houston once summed it up: "Nice mother-daughter stories are a dime a dozen; pain-in-the-ass mother-daughter stories are the ones that grab us." As Long as I Know You is a compelling read for any adult grappling with a living elder who might also be a pain in the ass, particularly, any reader who wants a tender take on the lethal combination of dementia and defiance.As Long as I Know You narrates Anne-Marie Oomens journey to finally knowing her mother as well as the heartbreaking loss of her mothers immense capacities. It explores how humor and compassion grow belatedly between a mother and daughter who dont much like each other. Its a personal map to find a mother who may have been there all along, then losing her again in the time of Covid. As the millions of women like Oomens mother reach their elder years and become the "oldest of the old," their millions of daughters (and sometimes sons) must come on board, involved in care they may welcome the way theyd welcome hitting a pothole the size of a semi. How a family makes decisions about that pothole, how care continues or does not, how possessions are addressedreally, no one wants the crockpotand how the relationship shifts and evolves (or not), that story is universal.

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