W. Jarman Uncle Sam's Abscess

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Whilst the greatest effort has been made to ensure the quality of this text, due to the historical nature of this content, in some rare cases there may be minor issues with legibility. It's an inveterate fact - Uncle Sam is afflicted. Thorns in the flesh - messengers of Satan buffet him. I portray the malady, and prescribe its remedy. A Morbid Ulcerous Cancer afflicts the body-politic of America, I name it U.S.A. - Uncle Sam's Abscess, or Hell upon Earth for U.S - Uncle Sam. The Abscess first appeared at the Top of the Head (of New York State.) Shifting its position it infected the vital parts (of Ohio, Missouri, and Illinois), and finally settled in the Heart (of the American Continent). There it swells so alarmingly as to shock the whole system (All true Citizens). The administration of Anti-Polygamy Act Physic of 1862, the Poland and other Pills (Bills) prove abortive; each dose fails to act - (the Acts are inoperative.) Quacks and timid Doctors lack skill or fear to lance. (I saw no regiments of Lancers there.) It needs Surgeons skilled in the use of scientific instruments, (Armstrong, Gatling, and Eighty-one ton Guns. The aid of Foreign Skill was sought. (Secretary Evart's letter to the Foreign Powers).<br><br>Foreign Surgeons not understanding the case are ineffective. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, as the case may prove) circumstances forced me to a dire inside study of the matter, which made me familiar with both Disorder and Patient. It's a stubborn case, requiring prompt decisive action, and solid practical treatment. First, United States Bayonets must pierce and open it; then purge with Powders and Pills (both Ball and Shell from Cannon and Mortars of American Artillery), together with an injection of Grape, Canister, and Shrapnell. This will eradicate every taint of the foul blot, and restore the body-politic to robust health, and pristine vigor. Then will the Great Republic enjoy Life, Liberty, and Happiness; while mighty millions will rejoice that the power which Abolished Slavery also Emancipated Religion from the curse of Polygamy, Incest, Murder, and Crime. But, permit its con